Just finished ghost ship it was OK loved the ending. Hubs n I went out for supper with another couple and went to the movie Somethings Gotta give... it was a good movie too, Parts of it though made me think of my mom and dad, and mid-life crisis and when she was like crying and crying I wanted to cuz my mom would call last year so often crying like that and kinda made me uncomfy duriing the movie stupid I know.. and the sex scene's once I leaned over and said OMG it's like my parents having sex or something.. .. but loved the movie it was really good i'd suggest it, weird parts I'm sure are just personal to me.
I know the one part when they are on the beach having a 'picnic' and wine and walking along the beach, they are laughing and talking sitting on a blanket and I'm thinking That's what I want when I'm in my 50's... the thought to be able to sit and talk with someone and laugh and have fun like that in that era of my life I find comforting for some silly reason. Then I'm like I doubt Hubby would ever have wine with me not that that's a biggy, but he's not very vocal or leading or chatty romantic like that.. I don't think that will make me love him less nor does it now, just during that scene the thought crossed my mind that I probably will never be able to connect one on one that way with him or any man - - geez that sounds horriable doesn't it.. for me to say at least. I'm into that passion thing and guess it's buggin me with hubs... hahaha so everything in my life/thoughts seem to revolve round that at least for this second.
Just some spark missing I don't feel stimulated at all sometimes and I want to be yes... and same as always he's chicken in the bed or something I'm like throwing myself at him and I start to whine and ignore him and he's all like just standing there and not saying anything I"m finally i'm like what do you want.. and he's like well just being with you.. and I'm like so are you going to do me or what?? and he's like I'd like to.. and it's so ruining my mood then cuz he's so funny about it.. and i'm like damn hun if you want me take me, want me, geez i was throwing myself at you to limits i set and he's like I' was scared you were getting upset and mad at me and I didn't know what to do.. well I'm going to be mad when You do nothing at all.. better to say/do something if even just Hey baby ... or smile or hugs.
OMG i am so bad .. I just hate myself sometimes for talking so silly stupid about the man i'm 'in love' with. We had a nice night out and when we got home we eventually hit the bed together and he was cute, but sometimes cute gets old and at one point I'm like I'm going to fall sleep if you don't do something soon.. hahahah OMG again I can't believe i write this shit sometimes but geez sometimes I just roll my eyes like wtf
K gotta keep with the positives:
Cute Hubby 2nite did/said:
`~ I saved a new pair of boxers to wear out just for 2nite
~ Him laughing about something I didn't catch but he was really laughing
~ Kissing his neck he got totally ticklish and giggled and squirmed all over and I couldn't touch him for like 2 minutes
~ Volunteering to stay and watch movie with me cuz too afraid to get me into the bedroom I think or thought I really wanted that over him??? still don't know that but funny now
Yeap I need to focus on the fun/good stuff stead of the things that bug me cuz they're much smaller that the stupid things anyways right. Funny I have to sit and think of so many other guys and friends and their hubs and think what am I doing with Hubs, yet it's so obvious at the same time. Each relationship has it's own theme I guess.. .that makes sense to me :) I like that. feelings are different with each, some are really growing on me.
Leads me to topic of Sun night at T's wow did that ever throw me totally off my rocker. Not all in a bad way, just surprised with myself cuz no desire for T in that way and how it always ends up were together and my mind was on another totally and how it switched and .. OMG that's it.. I have no controll in that situation.. holy shit i figured it out.. at least for the night I don't have any controll and in my mind in those kinda thoughts I have a whole different image and imagine a senerio of my own and of course that's perfect hahaha..
I need to cut back on the fantasy life and get into reality don't I. There is so much I want to do/say somedays. I'll probably get into that night more later. for now I Better go.