Twilight

Writing about my life and things in it and what I think

Saturday, August 16, 2003

Chuckles

OMg sometimes rereading stuff I write just makes me shake my head what was I thinking LOL.. then its like oh well.. funny. So 2nite there is a party down at work for a 15 year class reunion and my ex will be there. I guess I will be a little uncomfortable.. it's really easy for me to pretend nothing ever exsisted or more I know he can't hurt me anymore yet still it's awkward even so.. and I am not looking forward to this at all. What will be funny is seeing one of his best friends from high school.. a guy I spent my 22nd bday with.. and one my ex totally told me to stay away from cuz he's a woman user.. LMAO biggest joke back then cuz the ex was that not at all his friend yet I did more just cuz he told me to stay away... Why I did things the way I did back then I still don't understand sometimes. Funny.

Anyways I better get ready for work and busy day tomorrow .. Hot and sticky out.. think it will be super busy 2nite

Key in my Ignition

Beep Beep - Funny whenever I check my stats I notice that someone just looked just 5 minutes b4 I post.. funny.. then they miss till the check again.. anyways get home hubs n I have some silly fun outside.. OMG it was still 80 degrees out and calm and bright moon in our backyard with just the slightest breeze.. Mmmm peacefull and so relaxing.

After his shower he's like hungry after all his work so sends me up to the wreck for a CB and mini taco's for him. I skip since the 1 and 1/2 glassses of wine at work got me a buzz going.. I go pick up and run into a few people there that were throwing parties OMG fun I thought but naaa hadda take home food and M from work was wasted and so funny silly drunk.. Gotta chuckle at 21 year olds. I grab the food head for home and we cuddle on the couch watchin the last 20 minutes of Mr. Deeds.

While playing we head to the bedroom for round 2 and OMG's times 3 now and no more I can't take anymore and finally and anyways I get up head 2 the bathroom and cuddle back into bed with the nice clean sheets I just washed and soft and cuddly and turn on the radio on our TV and that song comes on that song of that Wake me up song.. the one that makes me think of "him" so much that instantly I want to be with them. Sure that glass and 1/2 plus 2 after at home must have something on him/me too I'm sure but all in the same naughty me for thinking that specially after such wonderful stuff with hubs. OK yeah.. I know I said no more awhile ago but... anyways. I don't know I hear that and it's like instant melt-down and longing unlike any other feelin so much I hadda crawl back outta bed to my puter now.. and write about it all to get it off my chest. I don't know what to do about it just when i thought solved I guess not.

Damn in a way. Damn even more for someone else hehehe maybe not.. who knows.. gotta love em... and yet it's 4am now and i'm up writing silly tipsy topsy once again and hubs waiting for my recuddle.. and I'm so willing but hope that my thoughts re-wander back toward reality.. and even when I ask hubs.. what do you think of this song he's like never heard of it.. so non-musical or emotional toward writings mucis or poems.. its' sometimes brings me down as much as it touches me just once I wish he'd say OMG this song I hear I think of you.. would be so sweet. Cuz so many songs I imagine different things with different peoples.. hubs is an acdc man LMAO.. hard to think of anything with that cept of my thighs. LMAO. OK i'm stupid gotta go get some zzz's Wanna be up and fresh by 10am. K nite Chow

Friday, August 15, 2003

Hubs Upset

I called hubs last night at 6 at work and he was different... depressed and upset about work. Wouldn't tell me anything cept been looking in the paper for new job. He's been at his job for 7 years this Oct. Working outside in all kinds of weather that's just gotta suck... I wish he could get inside job.. and the whole "hole" is in an uproar cuz new guy that's 21 hired 6 months ago get paid more then all rest out there. Some guys been out there for 22 years another 35 and get less now. Sure it's only 20 cents but to a bunch of unhappy hot workers standing outside on hot rock running drills they tend to get pissy. Hubs and a few talk about it all the time and how crabby a worker he is and their foremans crap and hubby just upset with everyone and goes and talks to upper management a few weeks ago about stuff and no one cares... and he's like this could be improved and done easier and that..and I'm like OK so foreman doesn't care about performance of a few workers.. upper management doesn't seem to care.. WHY do You??? Who cares.. go to work.. do your little job as best as you can .. and come home we love ya kids love ya.. i love ya.. who cares about so n so.. or whatever hubs too worked up over stuff politics of a big business that will never change. Hubs simple and thinks simple solutions.. sometimes unable to see big picture.. and what he says so smart sometimes yet I know companys run the way they do and not always the right way or fastest but work. I do feel bad for him cuz the 9 guys are split out there and Hubby and the Old timer employees feel shitty compared to the younger newer drillers I don't know just feel bad for hubs... Wish he could find an indoor job with as nice hours and benifits nothing else really but something he should consider I think if that unhappy. Then again hubs never that unhappy b4.. but has been so crabby latley .. he says can't take it anymore.. and I do feel for him a ton and hurts me when he's hurt yet I'm staying my distance at the same time cuz I don't want to intrude to much.. just helpful suggestions. Hopefully when he gets home here in 15 min he'll be happier i hope and will forget about it at least for the weekend and enjoy life!!! Yeah. OK i better get.. I can't forget to write about my dreams and time from the other night.. hehe:) my fun K bye

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

DayLong

long day already and I work 2nite. Kids have been running and fighting all morning.. just can't get along.. one of those days I guess... They just do not know how to play in their rooms and I send them on their way after fighting and in less then 5 minutes they're back out running thru the house. Usually my kids listen pretty well and for the most part are very well behaved.. so I'm just trying to smile and thinking ... yeap just one of those days... And with that.. what's up with this worm virus going round .. on the net and WinXP of course is on the list of infection and even more wild is that this worm isn't even traveled thru your email.. just being online. Hummm wild huh. I should shut my puter down then??? Read somewhere doesn't even help if you shut it down cuz your still connected even if shut down.. ok now that's werid I don't understand that puter talk at all... oh well. What will this week/weekend hold for me? I don't know but I'm just looking forward to some peace with many things... K bye

Perseids at their best

It's August again and that time of the year the Perseids are lighting up the sky.. and I love to lay out and watch and wish on those "fallin" stars. I just love to see the bright green and red streaks but the moon is so bright 2nite that it's hard to see many stars at all let alone the meteor showers. Still with the upcoming weeks I will have lots of time.

Don't know nothing really popping out as any good topics.. sure I could start and stir something up within myself to get talking about.. but would rather not and just say F*(K it all and just lay back and not care nor worry. Plus I'm a bit pissy about something anyways and just don't want to be and I figure if I start it'll make me feel more upset and pissy so best to just forget anything or they ever exsisted if that is possible.. i'd so much rather that right now.

So I got a new scanner last week giving my old one to my brother.. and My grandma is bringing over tins of pictures.. old pictures some over 100 years old.. and I'm going to scan they so fun to look at. OK so some are of my great grandparents.. parents as babys.. have to guess those have to be at least 120-150 years old .. I would love to get into geology somedays. My uncle has done a ton on my mom's side so i could just get that info from him... he's even gone as far as to go overseas to visit long past family.. and stuff. My Dad's side is a mystery for me.. for the most part. And my hubby.. he doesn't have a clue to anything on his side. I asked his mom like 10 times for info on anything for the kids babybooks but nothing..

My Mom called 2nite. Hubby and I played Guantlet for an hour after kids went to bed and then we played in bed for at a min 30 minutes.. omg forever and long... but that was awesome.. and unusual so was great.. always is.. just fun the different things. Then I think back and I'm so silly sometimes.. it can't be easy always having me or being with me cuz I can be so nutty. Poor hubs.. he's gotta think i'm crazy sometimes LOL.. Oh well all in fun and is. :) he just shakes his heads your funny honey.

OK I am on yahoo games on demand now.. playing Spring Break Tycoon.. lots of fun!

Monday, August 11, 2003

Longest Weekend

Wow it's been one of those never-ending weekends fun-filled with a lot of fuzzy memories.. some which I now ponder on as wonder.. and more WTF??? OMG's and ohh I have to appologize.. then I think why? Long stories.. long weekend.. I'm tired going on 2 hours of sleep last night and only 5 the night b4. Ever have just about enough of someone as you want for the rest of your life... I've came to that conclusion with one at least for 2nite that is. OK I have to go to bed. Nite