Writing about my life and things in it and what I think

Saturday, March 15, 2003

Wired N Worked

Wow crazy night at work it was really busy at least I was. It always hits all at once. People come at the same time.. eat the same time.. drinks the same time.. dessert drinks the same time.. pay the same time LOL it's funny. Kept me hoppin! Time really flew and makes it fast and fun. But I'm wired... I want to sleep I"m going to try to sleep.. I need to sleep. I'll be getting up a little after 5 and It is super foggy outside and I'm hoping we are able to leave with enought time to spare with the heavy fog. Have to allow extra driving time. The tourney is about 2 hours away.

It was soooo beautiful out today a bit over 50 and I have spring dancing fever! I want to go out tomorrow night and cut up the town or just get out and do something. I know running all day tomorrow will be fun and hopefully it's as nice.. I'm too pumped to sleep. This bites. Well I gotta go look up a map to figure out the shortest way to where we need to go tomorrow. I won't be on til tomorrow night now at the soonest! Will you miss me?

Friday, March 14, 2003

Melting Pond

There is a pond in my backyard. I went out to let puppy run but decided against it once I seen the lake. I'ts like 50 Degrees out and just little patches of snow left. It's all melting. Kids been out playing on the deck. Just the sun shining in the patio door and hitting my skin is like sun-tanning sun.. Makes me wanna strip down and lay out. Laying out in the living room that'd be funny. No Just the warmness of the sunbeams feels good. Hugs your body! I'm a night owl.. but would love for awhile to try the otherside and become a morning bird. No worm catchin champ here.

I got to bed last night and didn't get to sleep for awhile. But once I did I had some werid dreams.. really werid and kinda scarey.. and stranger yet was they kept overlappin and replaying. It felt neverending. Once a part would be over I'd start all over again with just minor changes. But then I didn't sleep well at all. I need to get lots of zzz's 2nite as I have to be up round 5am tomorrow morning and head out round 6am.

I feel like crap again minor sore throat again this morning. But more feeling it in my chest. I am not going to get sick.. No. Can't. Too nice outside to be sick isn't it? OK gotta go cook some lunch

I'm A Naughty Winner

I'm tired... n relaxed.. n relaxed some more.. yet naughty. And what's worse is for when reality hits I should feel naughty.. but I kinda don't. But then I do.. but more I don't. Say a person does something they like to do is that wrong? But say you have an bond that tells yourself it's not right.. but what is that? I mean what's right to some may not be right but to me.. but to others is.. yet it is to me but isn't at the same time. LOL I'm being nutty. I just chalk up the fact I enjoy what I enjoy with the expense of knowing it isn't hurting anyone not knowing so it's cool. Is that so wrong? I don't think so. I like it.. but do feel guilty liking it so much.

Work was really slow 2nite. Got off early and me and J&J stayed and played the 20th edition Trivia pursuit game. OMG I have the genius edition I picked up at a garage sale last summer and couldnt' answer a one.. so my boss bought the last 20 year one thinking it would be easy since we were all alive then.. but OMG it was hard too. I felt stupid. I mean 80% of the questions I'd say I didn't know a thing about. It only took us 2 1/2 hours to play one game and I WON! WINNER! What did i win anyways just the trivia pursit champ I guess for the night!

I still have a bit of a gag thing feeling going on. Have that feeling of the beginings of a cold... Deep in my chest perfect time to quit smoking. I have 10 days off in a row starting Monday and I'm going to try my hardest to quit. I need to really read up on other people techniques and stuff because for all the times I have tried.. and I really want to I just can never do it. But this time I am going to really try! Help anyone? I'm tempted to find a hynosis person.. since I'm sure most of it's in my head. Why is it men have such an easy time stopping or not smoking? I'm not much of a smoker at home. Working in a bar is bad.. but more the habit part of driving or the smoke after supper or b4 bed.. is what gets me worst. I'lll analize it later. Not know.

So I stayed a bit after work.. it was great! Shaving is awesome! What's up with shaving anyways? I've been teasing my hubs for the past month about shaving his arm pits. I mean why do us women have to. I mean OK i hate hairy armpits and love to shave.. but look at guys sometimes. They have this big muff under their arms that gets hot and stinky and icky why not shave it like us women? And we shave our legs.. OK I like the feel of nice shaved soft legs on me. On a guy hairy legs I guess is OK.. and how about your private areas.. Shaved.. Yeah I think that's a plus to. I mean that 70's bush has gotta go. I don't bare shave anymore cuz OMG the itchyness sux. But some side shaving with a close cut trim is good. why is there hair there anyways? What purpose is it? And for guys? I mean all their organs are on the outside anyways why do they need hair there. Not to keep warm.. what's up with that? Yeah I liked it shaved. Nice!

What else can I yack about. 2nite working I had 2 guys call me from the bar up the hill to come up and play cards and celebrate early birthdays with them. Mine and this other guys bday are the same days in may.. I didn't go of course but kinda funny they called. I would've loved to go play cards but I havn't been into going out or drinking for that matter. I can't recall last time I actually have more than one drink or felt funky like that.. it's been awhile but something I havn't missed. I'm not a big drinker. I may be a bartender and work in a bar with lots of oppurtunity but maybe that's why I choose not to. I mean once you've been around the stuff and see and serve to many drunks the last thing you wanna do is drink and act like them. LOL i can't say that most customers I have are awesome and casual drinkers like a couple. And even the people that get drunk are fun. I'd say the times I do go out or have a few I usually have a good time. Like I think most other people try to do as well. Maybe I am getting old. LOL

What's funny to think about is how the last 3 times I've been with I've been completly sober.. really sober and myself.. that's werid now that I think about it. I like the comfort level almost there..

I need a dream to put me to sleep. What am I thinking right at this moment? I'm thinking of just laying on a warm beach.. at night.. looking up at the millions of stars with the wave sounds and warm breeze and moonlite night.. closing my eyes and rubbing sand across my lovers legs.. and arms.. tummy and thighs in a circular motion. Warm sand I might add. And soft kisses ... perfect.. Nite

Thursday, March 13, 2003

Girl Scouts!

My Cookies are in. Mmmm I love girl scout coookies. I ordered a few boxes and just got a call they are in. I used to be a brownie and then a girlscout but I dropped out after the 1st year of girl scouts and joined 4-H instead. That didn't last long either but I did get some blue ribbons on my cooking presentation and a cabage patch kids dress I sewed! That was hard from what I remember oh yeah and I sewed a doll too.

Ever have a period of time where your week is just blah. Nothing improtant to say or talk about or nothing really think about? I've felt that way all week. Starting with the no news . Good news? I don't know I'm bored I think. I want to mail a package out to my brothers girlfriend with some cookies and pictures.. sounds like she is getting homesick now.

Bye Bye Blankie

Woke up with killer sore throat... and kinda quezzie gaggy like spinny sorta. No I'm not preggy. Gotta little cough too that's what leaves me feeling gaggy. So what's new with me. My Daughter brought me her blankie last night I made her a new blankie last night she loved it I told her she had to give me her old baby blanket in order to get the new one.. and she did! We'll see cuz this morning she gave me her new blankie and said she wanted her old one back but I told her remember we threw it away. She told me to get it out of the garbage but I explained about the new blanket and she liked it again. I didn't throw it away of course but going to wash it and put it up until she's 16 or something! she's OK.. better than my son was.. and my baby he's a real blankie baby.. he will be hard to break!

I didn't watch any movies this week WOW mark that down.. I havn't even watch ANY of my soaps.. so haha.. what am I doing? I don't know? Organizing things I guess.. round the house and everywhere. last night I got off the puter and played the station again my brother brought up this game called Okage.. it's kinda cool took me 1/2 hour to read the manual and understand it all but think I'm graspin the idea! I'm sick of the LOTR2 towers and havn't tried hubbys yet. J really playing the tony hawks game.. I should've bought the ProSkater 4 that was on sale at walmart sun night for $27.77 from $49 normal price!

I just sneezed 10 times in a row. Yeah I must be getting sick.. I don't want to be going to have to drug myself out b4 work. And I have long weekend coming up! J wrestles regions sat.. we have to leave by 6am then I work too. Still bummed about my week off with no real plans. I have my entire check coming up to blow I got in 40.75 Hours which is good considering we were closed last thrusday so maybe we'll just take a day to ourselves and go shopping somewhere. Buying a new bed sounds fun too! I don't know.

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

Photo Frenzy

OK when using the computer the past 24 hours I've been mainly just cleaning up my files and got to looking at pictures. I am way behind on scanning the new ones since last summer and even worse I have stacks of pictures in a box that need to be put in albums! So my goal is to try and get thru some of these today/night. So I'm standing over my scanner putting new pictures in.. taking them out.. scanning the next! I've done it an hour straight so far.. then after that's done. I need to put them into their albums.. and then back on the puter to edit and reformat them for webpages I don't like bmp's too big I reformat to jpg's. And organize them by year and month into their on/puter files. Whoaaa. I needed a break. Think I'lll go slip into the tub while the kids are napping yet. Feeling funky like I gotta get out and do something later sometime.. somewhere.. just not sure yet what? LOL

Nothing Much to Say

I'm pretty busy doing other things online with other websites I have so 2nite I'm not going to go on about nothing new or nothing at all for that matter but sure i'll be back tomorrow! Have a wonderful Nite!

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

This or That Tuesday

Just a reminder on the side.. under more of me is where I post my answers to weekly questions and such!

Major Bummer

Just got off the phone with my brother. He bought a flight for $506 to fly out to see his GFriend who's in our local guard unit and was activated a month ago.. She will have a day off before going overseas and well he's going out to propose to her. How cute and wonderful.. yet at the same time I'm bummed cuz it's the same weekend that Hubs and I had planned on going away just me and him for the weekend. My bro was going to babysit while hubs and I took of next fri till sunday. I wanted to make reservations and all and finally got ahold of him but looks like he won't be able to now. It's OK.. I'm happy for him and her of course just a little bummed out that my weekend off won't be as thrilling as I wanted. Hubs and I really really really needed a night to ourselves. Our 5 year anniversary and we've never been without kids since the birth of our daughter. I can't recall a night we had just to ourselves out of town since our honeymoon.

I was really looking forward to it. Not just to get away.. but to actually get out together and have fun. Working nights and weekends and he works full time days durning the week the only nights we have to do something is Mon, Tues & Wed.. and those nights are just jammed with things to do. Last night J had practice.. then band/choir concert at the High school. Tonight I have to go grocery shoppin and go to the library and just the routine of cooking supper baths books and little ones.. and Hubs tired and sure will go to bed by 10 if not earlier.. only give us 15 min alone time together.

So my agenda for today is to try to figure out how to get the things i need to get done earlier in a way so tonight won't be so rushed. Tomorrow night my son has religion till 515.. then we'll go to church lent services from 545 til 7. So Wed night doing something is out of the question. It is beautiful outside 37 degrees. Think I'll go clean out my van when the kids are napping and sweep off what snow is left on our outside deck.. so the kids can play outside after nap. I also need to do the weekly chores around the house. And want to wash the windows outside.. but I'll save that for tomorrow when it's even warmer. or sopose to be.

OK so what other fun things can we do on my weekend off. I have my next entire check to spend on our weekend away plus the $250 in quarters I've been saving for the last year. We could all go as a family to where hubbys daughters live and get a nice room with a pool and all and visit the in-laws.. i guess. Not a romantic weekend away but something I guess. Or how about just staying home getting a sitter one night and going out with some of our friends who called this week and heard I had a night off and expect us to do something with them since we havn't really since I started working.. That sounds fun too I guess. There are a few other fun things we could do i guess. Hummm anyways Well I'm off to kick ass round here going to try getting somethings done so I don't have to worry about doing it all later. Bye for now

No News ?? Good News??

Didn't get a chance to talk to Mom today called her but no answer... tried my brother too but not home either. Sometimes not talking is better than.. then again I miss them both and will have to try to call tommorrow. I don't know too much been reading all kinds of things. My Mom -In-Law gave me a box of books this summer when we went down there for vacation.. They're all those western smut romance books.. I normally hate to read them. I'm more into self-discovering books or to learn something or more even a good mystery twisted in with a mini romance. Not so much smutty like His well defined muscle pressed upon my thigh.. stuff. LOL But I did start one.. guess I've read about every book in the house and it's keeping my mind of other things. WTHeck I figure might as well try reading something different.

Didn't get that much done today that's OK was a relaxing night and day. With that I don't even have any real thoughts or comments to discuss.. then again I'm a little tired yet from staying up all night last night! Surprised I'm still going on only 4 hours of sleep.. and 2 hours of reading. K Nite

Monday, March 10, 2003

Participation Postives

Monday's participation postitives ~ Some things that make me love life and living!

My Children
Winters Almost Over
I have the next 3 days off
My son did great wrestling and has fun
Talking to my Friends
Feeling rested and well
Getting thru another level on my game
The fridge is cleaned out
Thinking about my garden this year
Hubs and me watching TV 2nite Laughin

4 Times a Loser

LOL Sorry about the title.. but OMG my sons Dad (going on 4th divorce) called after school 100 times his wife left him when he got home yesterday she took all her shit and left while he was gone for the weekend up here watching J wrestle and spent Sat night going out with his brothers and sisters. J said his dad said she was mad cuz he went out and had 1 beer or something. I'm sure there is more to the story and more sure it's not only her but him as well. I mean he's 33 and been divorced 4 times now.. I married the guy when I was 19 for a year and 5 months.. Of course we had my son together so it wasn't all bad.. and I've got a heart but there were many real reason to not be together and I was smart enough to get out right away. He's not all bad but I do NOT feel sorry for him.

After his last divorce 2 years ago he'd call my hubs now cryin and upset and my poor hubby being somewhat gulable falls for his whines and feels sorry for him. I guess I don't. I don't cuz the way he uses it his relationship and people and the influence it has on my son. Me and J talked for awhile 2nite about it b4 his wrestling practice. He's a smart little kid. I don't ever knock his dad EVER. I have had a "good" relationship for the most part with his dad for my sons sake.. But then again there are things that I will not tolerate. As far as his dad whining wants J to come down this weekend and spend time with him. No Way.. not in his state of mind. He's not using my sons emotions to make him feel better. 1st off My ex needs to realize that "lying to himself and others" is one of his biggest downfalls let alone he never tells the whole story. It's always the other persons fault and he makes up big stories about just about every relationship he's been in.. and feeds off the sympathy of others. He did this to me for the 1st 3 years after we got divorced. He did it to me when we were together too.

Sick guy I told him last year a week after he got married this time.. he came up to me and said Amy I don't know what I'm doing for sure.. and wonder if getting married wans't wrong. I looked at him and said.. If you questioning it now you obviously have problems.. and he said he met this other cowgirl at some horse auction.. the past weekend.. Note he'd only been married for a few weeks.. anyways.. Same guy just older.. never grows up.. never learns. I said look at your past and reasons you failed... Do NOT look at the other person in any way but yourself. Analize what you did.. and what you could've done.. and that kinda stuff. I told him he's always blaming the other when it's a two way street. I told him I don't want to make him feel better by saying.. Ohhh I'm sorry for you cuz I'm not. You made the bed you lay in now sleep. And he hasn't whinned or called me crying since. But now calls my poor hubby or son.. Grrr I'm not going to talk about it anymore now Gotta go.

Casino Night

Worked last night then a few of us headed over to the casino for about an hour n 1/2. I think I spent round $11 bucks.. but made $10 on the last game so I was only down about a buck. I don't know why I bother wasting time but it's something different so wth. I used to love BlackJack and would sit there the whole time but that was 7-8 years ago. The last 10 times I've played say I have 7 hands, I lose all 7 instantly. And the cards I'm delt are crap and even if they were remotely good.. I'd still lose LOL so I opt to not play anymore. Wonder if I broke a mirror or something somewhere along the way cuz I am the most unlucky person when it comes to odds and such. It's OK. At the slots I get the number thing outta my head. I count 1,1,1,2,3,4 and usually win on 3 or 4 and every 5 sets I'll win back to back. Dumb huh. I still lose LOL There are a ton of electronic games now they're fun with the added extra things to do like Spin the Wheel and stuff but those just take my faster.

Oh well the whole point of the night that's my fav is just getting out.. and what else it open at 2am when ya work nights? We took the trip to Wally world after for an hour.. that's always fun n then 4 breakfast Mmmm pancakes. Didn't get home til 530 and slept til 9 so i'm kinda tired now 2day. Nappy with the kids later I'm sure. Maybe not and I'll just sleep good 2nite? A Co-Worker has a play 2nite she's in I want to go but J has wrestling practice n grams not sure she can watch the kids yet.

My bro's band just emailed me some updates it's been like a year. They arn't playing the weekend I have off now I'm bummed. Well I have lots to do Bye

Reason 4 Love

Reason No.4 ~ Hubs makes me Smile!
When I go out after work or late night trips to the casino Hubs doesn't care.. well he cares but never upsets him cuz he's like it's your time to get out and do something you like.. then again I think he justifies it for him wanting to fish, hunt, and things like that. His hobbies being for the most part out of the house... while I usually remain home. This gets me out and inturn he's always happy I have fun!

Sunday, March 09, 2003

1st Place !!!

Wow J wrestled today and kicked butt. I hope he keeps it up for next weekend at regions. Today was just a normal tourney he wrestled 3 kids.. 3 one min periods wrestling in the next state their rules are a little different.. in our state they usually wrestle 2 2 min periods. Anyways He Pinned ALL 3 people he wrestled and two in the 1st periods, and the last guy in the 2nd.. He was cradle rockin everyone! My grandparents came and watched too and the little ones were good so it was fun. He got a nice trophy for 1st. He's pumped up now just hope it carries over wonder what pumped him up so much. Maybe it was the little nice chat we had yesterday.. I just said yesterday.. Pretend tomorrow is just a practice and try all the moves you know don't just stick with one.. find others that work.. and he did he was flipping this way and that way and rockin and doing the butcher. Funny names for moves. It was fun! He's on cloud 9 now!

Hubs off to the laundry mat to wash his work clothes. He doesn't wash his big overcoats and bibs here at home.. too icky. I have to go to work 2nite thinkin a casino trip tonight after work or out for breakfest I'd like to go shopping at walmart.. Who knows.. or maybe we'll stay and play games? Bye for now!

2nd Place

Temp; -4 Degrees

J wrestled at Districts today and got 2nd place. He always tried his best and almost always a good sport regardless if he wins or loses. The only thing I hate about wrestling for state is that some parents get ugly. I mean everytime we end up sitting by some Dad who's kid is bawling after a match.. while he's yelling "what are you doing out there" You just wanna lose don't you.. you can't wrestle your suck. I just want to turn around and say.. get your fat ass out there bubba and lets see you. It takes all within me not to say something or just go hug that little boy and say I love you and you know they are trying their best and sure it hurts them more since the main reason they are probably even wrestling is to make their pathetic dad happy.

And it's not always their dads. I've heard my share of dumb comments come out of their mothers mouths as well.. And then those moms who just sit back and allow the dads to humliate and taunt their kids makes me sick too. Districts arn't as bad but next weekend at regions is when it really heats up.. I get almost sick. The 1st match of this season I heard the most faul mouthed man yelling at his son behind us. Saying he would've stayed in bed rather than to come watch him " pussy foot" around and called him every evil thing. and the Mom just agreed saying harsh things as well. I just get sick.

Or those parents that are yelling .. screaming... from the mats. There is 20 kids out their wrestling with a stadium full of people yelling like thier kid even hears them. Well maybe but there is a rule.. No coaching.. during state stuff. When my son's done wrestling I tell him I'm proud of him if he got 1st or last! As long as he's doing it because it's something he finds fun and wants to do for himself. There are times he loses he feels bad. But I always talk to him after and say why are you feeling bad. And he's very open and usually it's just he's sad he lost when it comes down to it. But then again even when he's lost he'll jump up and ALWAYS shakes hands and smiles and says to the other good job. and usually laughs! I am a proud mommy!

So 2nite at work I got this hot flash and spins and thought I was going to throw up for sure. I broke into a sweat and went into the cooler and thought OMGosh I'm getting the flu. It wasn't that busy yet and I tuffed it out and it' passed. So I'm hoping that was the extent of being sick! I'm still a little dizzy and all but I think Im tired.. Been a long day!

Reason No.3 - Hubs Makes me Smile
Last night my daughter woke up at 430 and came into our room... Hubs got out of bed and tucked her back into her bed. When he came back I said WOW you got up.. usually I'm the one to get up or wake up and put her back to bed if she ever does wake up.. and he said .. I know you worked and were sleeping and you have to get up early tomorrow morning so I laid her back down !! Wow