Writing about my life and things in it and what I think

Friday, July 25, 2003


opps deleted sorry - 11:12am

Wednesday, July 23, 2003


OK i havn't been able to check my email all morning or even last night b4 I went to bed on hotmail/msn. Grrr cuz my messenger says I have like a lot of new messages and I can't get to them and bugs me. I have to work 2nite it's awesome outside warm round 80 but not really humid so it feels awesome. I made 3 dozen choc chip peanut butter cookies and fried 3lbs bacon up and tuna salad spread and fried and chunked up some chicken and made some jello. I think 2nite or tomorrow I'll made those 10lbs of meatballs cuz it's just getting to late to start now and I will be getting ready for work soon. I'm tried again. You'd think I could sleep at night wonder why I'm so sleepy. I got almost 8 hours last night.. oh well.

Made steaks for dinner on the grill and had my son helping cook and told him he could cook dinner i'd just help. He flipped the steaks and stuff and when we were eating I'm like MMMmmm J your steaks are soo nummy and he was so proud it was cute. And then he's like How are you peas? I was like fantastic Mmmm I'd like 2nd's and he's all smilies and says maybe we should cut and save a lil piece of steak to show dad... It was cute. OK I better get I have some laundry to finish up I'm all behind on my stuff.

Monopoly Cereal

I was at the grocery store today and standing in the cereal isle I see "new" cereal called Monopoly.. LMAO I almost bought it if I wasn't on this diet so I could actually eat some cereal.. But silly to name a cereal after a game.. But caught my attention and looked nummy and really makes me long for a game night. I hadda work for the other bartender work went well It was very slow for me but were kinda busy for a Tuesday just I wasn't into the swing of working already suppressing how thrown off that threw me.. but I went and was done by 10 with everyone gone and I called home and hubs still up and kids so figured best I get home.. Boss wanted to hit a shoppin store but other said feeling under the weather now too.. And with new baby wants to sleep which was ok since I have a pair of work boots and a pair of shorts and a cordless phone battery all sitting here in a bag to return to walmart next time I go.. and almost forgot till hubs reminded me when I got home that if/when I go there to return that stuff. Oh yeah silly man he's the one that bought all the wrong stuff LOL. Oh well. I'm soooo soo tired and I don't know why for once.

Maybe it's the new diet thing and exercise program. Hubs and I Measured and weighed in together 2nite when I got home too it was funny. I don't recall him ever seeing my weight b4 but hey he's more then me yet so skinny.. but taller .. sucks wish i was 5 inches taller like him I'd be skinny maybe then too LOL.. Anyways were going to work out and I'm dieting also and see if in 2 weeks when we measure again if either of us have any changes.

I ordered 60 recipes on ebay earlier for the low carb atkins plan for deserts diet bars and shakes.. but for some reason the lady that emailed me then sent me a ton of recipes on Low Carb Breads.. Biskets, Pastas and noodles.. WHOA cooler then the shakes and desserts.. because I am soooo craving some bread or something new. OK So I am excited to look threw when I get home from work and there are a lot of receipes.. but WTH??? I don't know where to buy this stuff. ??
Oat Flour?
Soy Flour?
wheat germ
vital wheat gluten
pecan meal
vanilla whey protein powder
flaxseed meal

OK maybe I'm dumb but I have never heard of most the ingredients the recipes call for? Anyone know that can help or direct me in the right direction? About the only one I can make are the ice-creams and the Almond Green Beans. Mmmm now it's jsut time to go shopping somewhere where I can find some stuff like this.

OMG it even has recipes for low-carb ketchup and since you can't have potatos how about schredding Zucchini Hashed-Browns - where you used the shredded zucchini instead of potatos LOL.. Mmmm maybe.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003


I am having a great morning and plannin my shopping list and the date with my son at the movies 2nite when the other bartender calls she's sick.. can't work for me anydays this week but may work for me on sunday.. OK i have no problem going in or working that is all just fine and I called the theater and that movie will still be here next week so we can go next week... but I was having nice day off yesterday and this morning cuz I had put that whole sunday night thing outta my head to keep my sanity for awhile and now being faced with work and seeing her that ickyness overcomes me and grrrrr... hate that. I absolutley hate that. Anyways I have to not think about that while I'm home and focus on happy things to be happy cuz that really makes me upset.

OK so I better get busy on my dinner I'm kinda stuck cuz i have no lettuce as what to make for me. Wanted a salad with chunks of meat hehehe. Kids are getting mac n cheese and cheeseburgers and a veggie or fruit I better get cookin n grillin.

This or That

1) DVD or VHS? DVD you can flip to part you want to watch.. and those extras can be fun!
2) Best Literary/Movie Villan: Voldemort (Harry Potter) or Sauron (LoTR)? Sauron
3) Meat: rare or well-done? Rarer-- med to med rare
4) High Speed Internet-Cable or DSL? never tried dsl.. so cable
5) Women: 1-piece bathing suit or Bikini? depends on the women
6) To be fair--Men: Boxers or briefs? depends on the man
7) Beer or Liquor/Wine? wine/liquor
8) Coke or Mountain Dew? Mt Dew
9) In honor of my 10/18/03 nuptials: Morning or Afternoon/Night Wedding? Night
10) Carpet or Hardwood Floors : Hardwood
11) American cars or foreign? American
12) Cutest TV Twin: Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen? OMG same arn't they i can't tell
13) Coffee: Caffeinated or Decaf? Ick niether
14) Thought-Provoking Question of the Week: Computers: Do they make life better or worse? Why? Better .. why.. cuz I get to fill out things like this and it's something to do.

Hubs n Me

Hubs n I went out 4 supper 2nite. We both sat over the weekend n hadda long chat about life n love n all that jazz and money and dreams and whatever married couples are sopose to talk about i think.. maybe not but somethings needed to be discussed and I was so to the point where I didn't know what to do next or what i even wanted .. well yes I did know I still do and we just needed to redefine what's important to each other and refreshen our relationship better.. so after a final fight saturday all day and a gallon of tears we sat after our meal out n really talked about what the hell has been going on.

Decided on many things.. me and my notes and lists and idea's i wrote down sun and today and he wrote some yesterday as well. And it's so easy to get caught up in the busy rush of everyday life n the routine of our time that we often and don't appreciate the little things anymore. Sure it's nothing outta the norm for any married couple with kids. Hubs works 5am gets home 430 we eat supper at 530-6.. dishes picking up house.. playing with kids doing things that need to be done.. outside.. sometimes running errands to the store or a visit to grandma's.. on my two nights off and it's 830.. bathtime for the little ones.. bedtime snack.. brush the teeth and the beddytime story and kisses n hugs n prayers and lights out. OK it's 10 almost by then.. This is our summer schedule.. during the winter it's 830-9 littles ones in bed. So at 10 hubs showers then packs his lunch and takes the garbage out and walks the dog.. get in round 1045-11 and he's shot.. sometimes I tuck him in sometimes i don't . .. usually latley not cuz we've just been slippin on the time together.. sad yeap and exactly why having that talk.

So that's mon and tuesday.. wed and thrusday i don't see him at all.. cept for when i get off work and he's always sleeping then. Fridays he gets off at 11 usually runs his errands to friends shop and the mill and stuff.. and sat and sun's are ok for the daytime.. at night even if i get off early he's still sleeping .. so our quality time is ziltch at times.

And I think when your not with someone so much or not doing anything with anyone so much ya kinda slip away.. or at least how I feel. And i don't want that i hate that specially with the alone intimate time.. hadda figure out someway to get that back.. and for him too.. so we decided to get out at least once a week if even for 10 minutes or an hour.. whatever just me and him and talk n laugh again and have fun.. rather then the times together spent discussing what's for supper or paying bills or discussing not fun stuff.. all the time.. the routine shit .. special time.. and 2nite was that.

So we went out to eat.. then to the grocery store and picked up some fruit n a few things we needed and stopped at the liqueor store n i bought a bottle of wine and we parked out at the lake here for a bit talkin. Not about jobs or kids or work or the house or bills or anything but just about me and him and stupid stuff like remember that time.. or ohh your ticklish there.. hummm and flirty like fun.. and came home -- a total of 2 hours out.. not a lot of time but so much fun.. and gave the kids the baths n ready for bed and went back to bed at 1030 n cuddled n talked a bit more b4 he jumped on me. .mmm then anyways.. was a great night.

I need to try to think of more things to do special for him tomorrow since.. me and my oldest son are going to the movies tomorrow night for a treat.. Piarates of the Carriabean :) His pick.. sounds good.

Monday, July 21, 2003


OMG - OOOO MMMMM GGGG - I'm dumbfounded once again.. in total shock n disbelief. I am a million feelings of every emotion feelable. And could describe each and every but for the time being so late I can't.. shouldn't for other reasons cuz it's so vivid right now in my mind and thoughts that I tend to go off. Not that my mind won't be spinning thoughts of replays of the night. GRRRRRR I do know my heart goes out to those that it effects so much more then me.. being my bosses cuz again they are so nice n have been so forgiving to this person n i know the effect it has on me can't compare to the feelings n confusion it must lead them to feel. Sad... :( and in such a wonderful time of their lives. almost sickens me. OK i am not going inot that 2nite way tooo late amy go to bed. but I so want to talk about it.. nope.. not now.. OK i'm fighting with myself now.. i do that too often latley. yes i must go now b4 i get going..

Sunday, July 20, 2003

WHoo Hoo friday for me! Jazzy

I am sooo tired. Tonight was busy but ok I'm just not into much of anything cuz I'm just too tired and I have a lot to do yet 2nite. Make out a grocery list again.. diets make that hard for me.. and I wanted to update some other websites and I am so into the designing mood and I want to scan some pictures but my scanner isn't compatable with Windows XP and I can't get the upgrade download to work to get that driver to work .. sucks I am so fustrated with it I just want to run out and buy a whole new scanner. Maybe my brother will buy my old one .. since he bought my old computer. hehee..

Oh and this Jazz website is pretty cool . I'm into it for a lot right now and found this site lots of neat old articles on past jazz things around the time I was in band too and even found an old song I used to play on the sax that I won an award in chicago for my solo back in the days:) Fun to remember but more fun would be to flap back to that moment again.. cuz I hardly remember much from that preformance sopose i was so nervous..

I have to workout yet 2nite. Doing good did my workout friday night too much I could hardly stand on my tippy toes cuz the backs of my calfs were ouchie.. and my hams were kinda ouched as well. I didn't feel like I over-worked myself at all that night until I woke up sat morning then that busy night at work.. I rested and just went for a walk on saturday instead to keep in the mood. But now I'm off to do 2nights workout. I want to get off the night-up-working out routine and would just love to wake up bright and early and awake and do it then. But I'm going to settle for working out 2nite.. 2nite and then switching to a 115pm workout time.. when I lay the kids down for their afternoon nap.. and maybe/hopefully move it to mornings. Hehehe dream on huh.. oh well. OK I gottta get busy. Like that song. plus I so need to catch up with some old online friends.. sorry ya all.. miss ya so much. K bye

Unconscious Mutterings

I say and you think ?

  1. Wizard of Oz:: Dorothy
  2. Ford:: Truck
  3. Wrinkles:: old
  4. Extravagant::spendy
  5. Conventional:: oven
  6. Stewart:: martha
  7. Offensive:: football
  8. Heartbeat:: baby
  9. Chaos:: crazy
  10. Jiffy::peanut butter

Doggie Bed

Ordered our Belle a new doggie bed other is chewed n shot and she's had for awhile so trying a whole new different style to see how she will do with one like this with hopes she'll like better and we'll be able to leave her run the house now at night... here it is I signed up for an account with now too for my puppy to go online her self and order fun stuff. Damit now I'm thinking I should've ordered that brush we need for her. She needs a new brush bad.. her other isn't cutting it and she's losing most all her baby fur and needs to be combed out and our old brush sux too. Oh well I can just order another but then ya got stupid shipping again. I a complusive shopper sometimes I think. Humm I will just have to ponder on what else she might need then make a final order huh. OK I should get in the shower.


So I ask hubs to make lunch one day on the weekends.. he whines about it and picks the buffet at the pizza ranch.. Booo i'm not a big pizza eater.. not into the tomato sauce thing or maybe it's just their pizza I don't care for much... I do love their broasted chicken.. But I hate eating out costs like 30 bucks minimal when the fam goes out for just lunch I could prepare 4 meals at least on that.. n good ones. I'm feeling cheep these days.. LOL.. nooo just I knew when we walked in the door it's calories.. and with this diet i'm on.. OMG sucks what's the use of trying cuz like I keep bombing out on it. Well no not completely but still a cheat here n there won't cut it. And I did sooo good the past 2 days but I couldn't resist that piece of Chix Alfredo pizza.. Mmm naughty lol. K bye diets suck

So Glad the nights over

Whoaaa it was sooo super crazy busy 2nite.... i don't know how I ever kept up but somehow all worked out cuz I made it through the night however crazy it was at work and I'm home safe n sound but I'm shot. Wow is all i have to say now sitting here looking back. Hasn't been that crazy for awhile. It wasn't that it was like a rush.. where it's nutty and crazy for awhile and then it's done.. this was like 530 til what felt like forever -- 9ish or so nutty. LOL I went back at 10 to get my food and seen K and S were cooking 2nite and realized I hadn't been in the kitchen once all night and didn't even know who was cooking LOL. Time flew and most people were great and fun cept for 3 totally stupid older men who must think their poop doesn't stink cuz they all drank corona with that twist of lime and were the rudest men... not just one time they came up but like every-single time. I didn't care nor do I yet.. just rollin my eyes looking back at some people and comments they make and how misrable their lives must be to feel so big and bad all the time.. or whatever... I just smile to myself like .. your all pathetic.. and it's sad. oh well. Just a crazy busy ass night. Glad it's over and I survived. But now I'm home it's 220 and big giant storm.. severe thunderstorm a county away moving our way. I hate storms strong ones when I have no real shelter or basement. I too much freak out. Can't sleep cuz I feel like I have to stay on top of the weather just in case. LOL i' know I worry too much sometimes... just have my babies in the house.. and just don't feel safe here .. when it comes to storms sometimes. Plus the wide open space behind our house and field when the wind blows it feels like it's really blowing like our roof off sometimes LOL... OK I better get. Nitey nite or more I"m going to watch this dumb movie on starz.. looks different.. maybe funny.. I could use some more laughs!