When twilight brings her curtain down,
and pins it with a star,
remember that you have a friend,
thought she may wander far.
:: As of July 13th ::
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
I've gone complete and totally suicidal running into the wild to die once again :( This is twice this week alone. Today wasn't for same reasons but kinda as b4. But 2day If I I had died I was sure to have never returned. Someone seems to b toying with the idea of breaking my heart or attempting to hurt me. Making me think things I normally wouldn't question. I never did question the source until they came to me asking me if I said this or that. Twisted and torn words again day 4 of this never ending circle of crap from this peeps i don't understand.
Making me question all relationships I ran. These words echoed "I love u like no other" the tears fell and I ran. When I heard that last upset it had erased all my fears and reassured their feelings and I hadn't questioned. Then another again interfers speaking the same twisting and turning my thoughts into their own I stop and defend them only to have them then question me :( omg omg me who's loved thee faithfully??? :( sad so sad
Instantly crushed as they asked to meet to return my things .. omg :( It is over I think :( sniff sniff.. .. run amy.. I ran and as I passed a friend sees me and follows me out. I beg them to kill me (H) he says he will not and won't leave my side. Next thing I know that person that's buggin me shows up out there WTF??? omg i don't get this but At this point all I wanna do is die.
Without my luv their is no future it was the lowpoint of my whole heart and it sank down deep. I am not mad and i'm not nothing I just want them to leave me. And I don't get it I have told them 100 times I am not theirs nor will i ever b I am in love with some1 else then they say just as I, who never gives up on my luv they too love me and won't give up on me... OMG ... and i just meet them 3 days ago. I want to kill them now for causing so much pain not just to me.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... I'm not sure what to do next in this world. I just know I am glad I missunderstood the one with their intentions of returning my things... and again I close my eyes and hear them proclaim the truth. What do I do??? :( :( :(
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